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Just in Case You Missed It Before Dept.:  I made an animated-ish cartoon that’s viewable on the internet, with the help of some entirely generous people who you might know and/or love and/or tolerate (or who you might not know but who you should get to know and/or love and/or tolerate).  I’d mentioned it before, so sorry if this seems like self-promotional spam— I promise this is the last time I’ll do this; I hate this kinda thing, too.  But I thought to myself, I thought, hey, maybe you had missed this before?  Maybe you were gone that week?  Maybe you were on vacation?  Maybe you were in Thailand?  Maybe you’re a sex tourist who has to travel to non-extradition countries in order to sate your unspeakable desires and quench all your unquenchable nibbly-parts?  I have no idea— I’m not the NSA (then again, if I were the NSA, isn’t that exactly what I would say?  ooooooh).  I’m just a guy who made a cartoon and thought I should mention that more than once because… I don’t know, that’s probably what people do. And you?  You’re a special person who deserves to be loved, tenderly and wetly and sometimes with handcuffs involved, who deserves to find out about things they missed while they were out of the country on an immoral sex-tourism vacation.  So here it is again!  Thanks and sorry!


Anonymous asked:

The title of your Winter Soldier post summed up my thoughts exactly. Holy fuck but it literally looks like a cable drama (Joss Whedon needs to be strung up for allowing that lighting to become a thing). You're wrong about Iron Man 3, though; it's totally a Shane Black movie, just not enough of/a particularly good one. Still the most watchable of the new batch.


The thing I like about Shane Black movies (and some other 80’s action movies to a lesser extent; but at least Die Hard, which is perfect)— and I think what modern blockbusters have strayed from to their detriment— is the heroes are Messed Up.  They’re not okay; society doesn’t really have a place for them— Geena Davis in Long Kiss Goodnight can’t be a homemaker because she’s a killer, Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon can’t be a family man like Danny Glover because he’s lethal and also a weapon, Downey Jr. in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang has one of my favorite things where he says something like, “I’m not saying it’s normal— I’m not saying I’m normal”; etc.  Modern special effects blockbusters don’t have those kinds of characters— it’s all Chosen Ones and prophecies and all that crap, instead of Bill Murray in Meatballs.  I don’t know why— this country got more evangelical?  People got less accepting of actual outcasts (the nerds never won)?  No clue.

I identify with fuck-ups lots, for obvious reasons, so that is the kinda stuff I’m into.  And so, Iron Man 3— if it had any of that to it, I missed it.  The fact it was set at Christmas didn’t mean much when fundamentally, I felt like the stuff I think of as being his real hallmarks wasn’t there, the stuff I get into.  Downey Jr. had a “nervous condition”, they tried to jam in a neuroses, but it never felt all that real and I don’t remember it getting resolved in any meaningful way… 

And the ending, I just remember it all being special effects and Gwyneth Paltrow’s weird stomach.  The idea of the main character having to defeat the bad guys in order to be in some way healed wasn’t there (which I think is how his other movies have ended, the healing power of violence— Bruce Willis being gloomy all movie and then finally being happy enough to dance a jig because he threw a guy onto helicopter blades). Take away the main character healing and/or coming to grips with his world (e.g. Mel Gibson having to beat up Gary Busey outside the family home) and it’s just… What’s there to root for without that stuff?  I don’t know.  Not much.  So for me it always felt authored and muddled by executives, and consultants, and whatever, more than anything, like with all those movies. For me, it’s not a “real Shane Black” thing in the ways that count.  It’s just the movie I’m hoping helps him get to make real Shane Black things again because … The Nice Guys is a pretty fun script that’s just lying on a shelf somewhere, so…

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